Hello World (:

OK, you got me. I fell for it. As a product of societal and parental pressures, I was driven to pursue a cookie cutter career path with a comfortable financial frame all the while surrounding myself with endless physical beauty. What could be better? A guy with a steady, healthy paycheck who works alongside half-naked women 5 days a week should be the last one feeling completely drawn elsewhere.

Even I successfully convinced myself that “this” is what I, and no one else, wanted. Even I became obsessed with the comfort and security provided by “things” that could be taken from me tomorrow. Even I denied the presence of any duty to humanity above and beyond the 70 hours a week I already dedicated to “the” hospitality field… until NOW. Because, despite relentlessly pursuing and attaining all of “that” and more, an undeniable emptiness still looms behind my eyelids every night when I fall asleep.

So, my thoughts naturally revert back to those indescribable flashes of life where preparation met opportunity and I, like Lou Gehrig, considered myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth…

Now, I’m not talking about pulling an all-nighter with your best friend to get a B+ instead of a B for the semester in Operations Management. I’m also not referring to shooing an innocent and injured bunny rabbit from the middle of a busy neighborhood street with your coffee stained morning paper. Sorry, but the rusted, lint-consumed pocket change you tossed into the hat of a homeless violinist with limitless talent doesn’t count either.

Not to discount these moments and render them meaningless as they often represent the lower rungs of a much taller ladder. If I may, the glimpses I strain to identify are not once-in-a-lifetime feelings but moreover only-in-a-lifetime feelings. I may never fully verbalize what it means to completely live, even if only for a brief instance, but I feel I’ve been privileged enough to float on air a time or two.

Selfish to selfless. Insecurity to ingenuity. Hardship to happiness. Anguish to awareness. Poverty to progress. Temptation to trust. These are just some of the new mantras you may find me randomly muttering to myself throughout the upcoming days and months. Better than ever, I can see past the present and into the future. I know where I need to go, so it’s only a matter of time until I get there. Simply put, I want nothing more than to feel comfortable in my own skin again, and this has nothing to do with the occasional blemish…

I never again want to look into a mirror like I do now. I no longer want to depend on a projected image with such conviction to determine who I am and what I’m worth. Maybe there’s a reason why natural usually captures and captivates. Maybe there’s a reason why untouched and untainted often intoxicates. Maybe there’s a reason why I want to again see myself how she always has…



Hello World. How you been? Good to see you my old friend ☺